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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23987749">And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head'>voices_in_my_head</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I always wondered how far we could go if we could break through the ceiling above us [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU, Sons of Anarchy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I'm back baby because literally why not, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, rare pairs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:21:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23987749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"“I just… I’m probably going to go inside for quite some time.” Juice’s eyes keep fidgeting between Jason’s face and anywhere else.</p>
<p>Jason takes a drag from his own cigarette, thoughts running around his head. He doesn’t know what to say; feels divided. On one hand, criminals deserve prison, or worse. On the other, this isn’t just any criminal, but Juice. His boyfriend, who he doesn’t want to see put away for years.</p>
<p>“I’m going up either way,” Juice says, finally settling his eyes on Jason. “I can’t leave my brothers now.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Jason says because of that, he is sure of."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Juice Ortiz/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I always wondered how far we could go if we could break through the ceiling above us [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yeah, I wrote a second part. In three days. While writing the first part I kept whispering in my mind "what the fuck" because even for me, writing 20k for a crossover rare-pair that literally no else thought of was a bit much. Writing a sequel? Literally just me going "welp, this might as well happen."</p>
<p>Honestly, it probably won't make much sense without reading the 1st part.</p>
<p>This follows S3 of SoA pretty closely - Half-Sack is still killed, Abel still taken - except for the parts that I changed to make Jason fit in. Regarding Jason... *waves hand* he was still the Red Hood, but left Gotham after failing to get Bruce to kill the Joker.</p>
<p>Dick is here now!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jason can’t quite believe just how fast things go to shit.</p>
<p>One moment, he’s watching a film with Juice in his living room, the next Juice is gone because of some club emergency, calling him afterwards to tell him that not only is Gemma wanted for the murder of two people (of which she’s only guilty of killing someone in self-defense), but Abel, Jax’s son, has been taken in retaliation, with Half-Sack having been murdered trying to stop it from happening.</p>
<p>Jason helps him with the hacking, trying to find Cameron Hayes, the kidnapper, but they don’t have much luck, not once he’s out of the pier.</p>
<p>Jason goes to Half-Sack’s wake. He’d only met him the night before, just hours before his death, but he still feels like he should pay his respects.</p>
<p>He hadn’t been patched in yet, but he receives a full-on Son funeral.</p>
<p>Jason is outside, at least a hundred people around him, leaning on the rock wall while he smokes a cigarette, waiting for Juice who’s walking with the rest of the Club when a minivan rolls up.</p>
<p>Jason turns to look at it out of interest; the group that is here to pay their respects to Half-Sack is quite diverse and he wonders if more people are going to turn up.</p>
<p>And then he sees the driver has their face covered up and even before the back door is thrown open, he’s yelling at the top of his lungs, “everybody, get down!”</p>
<p>He takes out a gun from the back of his pants, shooting at the guy with the machine gun, who only gets a few rounds before he’s on the floor, the cops having shot at him too.</p>
<p>Jason jumps after the car, sees it roll over Hale, and shoots at the back tire, not missing, but the guy just keeps driving.</p>
<p>He thinks about running after them; it’s not going anywhere far with a tire blown out, but people are yelling around him so he decides to pay them attention instead.</p>
<p>“My son! Someone help my son!” A woman is yelling, holding onto a kid and Jason runs towards them.</p>
<p>The kid is crying and there’s blood on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“I need to take off his shirt to see how bad it is, OK?” Jason says to the woman, who nods as she keeps crying.</p>
<p>Jason does as told, and quickly sees that there’s no entrance bullet. “It was just a graze, OK? You’re going to be fine, kid. He’s going to be fine,” he says to the woman, who’s still crying.</p>
<p>“Thank you, thank you,” she says and he nods.</p>
<p>“What’s your name, kid?”</p>
<p>“Will,” the kid – Will – says and his eyes are unfocused. He’s going into shock.</p>
<p>“Hey, kid, Will, you’re going to be fine, you hear me? It was just a graze, there’s no bullet. You’re going to go to the hospital and they’ll stitch you up and you’ll be home in no time. It’s a pretty good excuse to skip a few classes, eh?”</p>
<p>“I don’t mind school,” Will says, still with tears in his eyes, but he’s looking calmer.</p>
<p>Jason keeps pressure on his wound with the shirt he took of him.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Well, you’re one of mine, then. I always liked school. I was a bit of a nerd, really. Actually, between you and me, I’m still a nerd.”</p>
<p>Will laughs, then cries out when that jostles his shoulder. He starts crying again, but clearly trying not to do it.</p>
<p>“You’re being very brave, you hear me?”</p>
<p>Will nods.</p>
<p>“Tell me more about school. What’s your favorite subject?”</p>
<p>And as they wait for an ambulance, Jason gets to hear all about third grade’s Math class and then about the time nuts got banned from Will’s school because of someone’s allergy.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” his mother – Abby – tells him with a quick hug when they’re loading Will into the ambulance.</p>
<p>Jason nods and then turns back to the main action. Jax is being led away in handcuffs, the shooter on the floor, face pretty wrecked – not hard to figure out what happened there.</p>
<p>Juice is with the rest of the Sons, their own private circle, so Jason stands back.</p>
<p>None of the cops come talk to him, even though Jason shot the guy.</p>
<p>He’s not sure how he feels about Chief Unser. He’s seen him around, but never actually met him face to face. But he knows enough about him; been in the Sons’ pockets for years, has his own shoddy business.</p>
<p>Still, he’s certainly not as bad as most corrupt cops he’s known over the years.</p>
<p>“Hey,” the guys are walking back to him; Clay up front, the one who called for his attention, Juice, Bobby, Opie and Chibs behind him. Clay offers a hand for a shake, “thank you. Could have been much worse if you hadn’t noticed it right away.”</p>
<p>Jason shakes his hand, “just got lucky.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. You always carrying?” Clay doesn’t sound judgmental, but it isn’t just idle curiosity either. He’s a man who likes to know everything and everyone, wouldn’t give up control of a situation even for his own life and Jason is an unexpected turn in his life.</p>
<p>“I’m from Gotham,” Jason says, shrugging.</p>
<p>Clay studies him for a few more seconds, before relaxing – though not fully – and clapping him on the back. “Well, I’m glad you were here, son.”</p>
<p>Jason nods and turns his attention to Juice, who smiles at him, though he’s clearly stressed out.</p>
<p>“I think it’s time we all went home and got a full-night sleep,” Clay says and with that, he walks away.</p>
<p>The rest of the guys say their goodbyes, shaking Jason’s hand as well and repeating what Clay said, more or less, and then it’s just him and Juice.</p>
<p>Jason waits until all the guys are gone in their motorcycles before he moves to hug Juice, who holds onto him with a strong grip.</p>
<p>“Shit, if you hadn’t been here, Jason…”</p>
<p>“But I was,” he says, both to Juice and to himself. He doesn’t want to know what would have happened if he hadn’t been there either. As it was, several people got shot, but none of it are left-threatening.</p>
<p>Juice leans back from the hug, enough so they can see each other’s faces, though they keep their holds. “I saw you with a kid. Was he alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Will. Just a graze in the shoulder.”</p>
<p>“Good, that’s good,” Juice says and then sighs. “Fuck, this is…” Jason waits him out in silence. “In a way, it kind of feels like the beginning of the end, you know? But at the same time, things have been going downhill for freaking months.”</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t say anything to that. He would certainly prefer if the Sons decided to stop their illegal dealings, but this isn’t what he wanted for them either.</p>
<p>“Come on, let’s go back to my place,” Jason says, putting an arm around Juice’s shoulder and leading him to his motorcycle, the only one still parked on that side of the street, with Jason’s on the other.</p>
<p>Juice nods and turns his head so that he can kiss Jason’s chin. He doesn’t say anything and neither does Jason.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>It’s been a couple busy days. Jason tries his best to help with the search for Abel, but Cameron Hayes is a slippery bastard.</p>
<p>He and Juice are having dinner as Juice tells him the latest news.</p>
<p>“Last intel says he’s at Canada. There’s a bounty hunter up there; we arranged for a private show with the Caracara girls for the Chinese to get the money to pay him, but Opie went rogue when he saw Lyla… working.”</p>
<p>“You know I have some money, right? If the club doesn’t have it by tomorrow, just give me a call and I’ll transfer whatever you need,” Jason says, deciding not to get into Opie’s business.</p>
<p>“You sure?” Juice asks and Jason nods.</p>
<p>“Of course. I wanna do whatever I can for the guys, alright? Hayes taking Abel… that ain’t right. And killing Half-Sack.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he was a good guy. ‘Didn’t deserve to go down that way.”</p>
<p>Jason nods but doesn’t say anything else. Neither of them seem to be really up for a conversation, but it’s still good just to be together, especially as Juice is going up to Canada the next day, to be back God knows when. Jason is tempted to go with him but he has classes and he knows that there’s a fine line between protecting and controlling.</p>
<p>Juice is his own man and Jason trusts him enough to know he’d ask if he needed help, especially with something as serious as this.</p>
<p>“There’s… something else,” Juice tells him after they’ve both finished eating, lighting up a cigarette. Jason takes one out of the pack too.</p>
<p>He doesn’t smoke nearly as much as Juice but just in this, he can’t say he’s a good influence to be around.</p>
<p>“What?” Jason asks, frowning. Juice doesn’t look scared or anything, just a bit nervous, jumpy.</p>
<p>He takes a couple drags before saying, “they’ve moved up our hearing for the gun charges, because of the attack at the wake. They say the Club’s criminal connections asked for the retaliation.”</p>
<p>“Shit, and you guys not showing up…” Jason starts, already knowing what’s coming.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s not going to look good. Look, I just… We don’t think anyone from the church is going to testify, which means it’s just the federal gun charges. But that’s still five years, minimum, probably a lot more. I just… I’m probably going to go inside for quite some time.” Juice’s eyes keep fidgeting between Jason’s face and anywhere else.</p>
<p>Jason takes a drag from his own cigarette, thoughts running around his head. He doesn’t know what to say; feels divided. On one hand, criminals deserve prison, or worse. On the other, this isn’t just any criminal, but Juice. His boyfriend, who he doesn’t want to see put away for years.</p>
<p>“I’m going up either way,” Juice says, finally settling his eyes on Jason. “I can’t leave my brothers now.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Jason says because of that, he is sure of. Juice’s loyalty runs deep and there’s no way he’d ever not do his utmost for the club. And if, in that miniscule chance that he did want to stay behind… Well, he’d never be trusted again. And Juice is right; he’s going down for some time. He’ll never survive inside without backup.</p>
<p>And while Jason would get him out before it ever got so bad, this is Juice’s life, his choices.</p>
<p>But five years… It’s not that he doesn’t think he can wait. He loves Juice, it’s not about that at all.</p>
<p>Prison changes a man. Jason doesn’t want that for Juice, certainly not for five years, possibly more.</p>
<p>Juice puts out his cigarette, moves to get another one, but Jason stops him with a hand on top of his. Juice accepts it, interlacing their fingers instead. Jason finishes his own cigarette as he thinks. He studies Juice, wondering what he’s thinking about. That Jason is going to ask him to stay? That he’ll tell him he’s breaking up with him if he goes inside?</p>
<p>“It’s going to be OK. You do what you have to do and I’ll be here,” Jason promises, in the end feeling like that’s all he can really say.</p>
<p>Juice sighs, passes his free hand through his head. “It’s five years, Jason. If we get lucky. And as you’ve probably noticed, our luck hasn’t exactly been great these past few weeks.”</p>
<p>“You haven’t gone to trial yet. You don’t know what’s going to happen. But just know… I’m not walking away from you over this. You’re loyal and I respect that. I love that, alright?”</p>
<p>Juice smiles at him, squeezing his fingers, “yeah. I love you too.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Jason nods. “Now come on, let’s go to bed,” Jason gets up, still not letting go of Juice’s hand. He kisses his knuckles. “You have a big day tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Juice smiles as he too gets up. He kisses Jason. “Then I better give you a proper goodbye.”</p>
<p>Jason laughs against his lips. God, how he loves this man.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Jason goes to visit Gemma in the hospital. He doesn’t know her all that well but he likes her and with most of the guys about to be leaving the country, he thinks it’ll be good for her to know there’ll be a friendly face hanging around.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he says as he opens the door to her room and Gemma puts down the book she was reading.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she replies, giving him a small smile. “Come here,” she beckons him with a hand, “give me a kiss.”</p>
<p>He smiles as he walks towards her, bending down to kiss her on the cheek.</p>
<p>“It’s nice of you to come by,” she says once he’s standing back up.</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “I figured you’d be bored around here. And worried.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, can you believe they didn’t tell me my grandson had been kidnapped?” Gemma asks, but her anger is diminished. Probably on account of her heart.</p>
<p>“I know,” he says, grabbing one of her hands and squeezing. “They were just trying to protect you.”</p>
<p>“Men,” she says, rolling her eyes and Jason smiles. Yeah, that seems accurate. “What about you, how’ve you been? Clay told me you saved a kid at Kip’s wake.”</p>
<p>“He just got grazed by a bullet on the shoulder. I mostly just kept him calm until the paramedics came.”</p>
<p>It’s Gemma’s turn to squeeze his hand. “He told me you were the first to notice the van, that you told everyone to get down and got the first shot. It could have been far worse if you hadn’t been there.”</p>
<p>“I know,” he says, “I’m from Gotham. I’ve seen what far worse looks like.”</p>
<p>Gemma studies him for a few seconds before nodding.</p>
<p>“What are you reading?” He asks, changing the subject and letting go of her hand.</p>
<p>“Oh, this?” She picks up the book, shows him the cover: <em>My Sister’s Keeper</em> by Jodi Picoult. “Told Clay to bring me a book from the house and I guess he thought this one was a happy one,” she rolls his eyes and Jason laughs.</p>
<p>“Me and Juice went to watch that at the cinema.”</p>
<p>“He cried, didn’t he?” Gemma asks, smiling and Jason nods.</p>
<p>“I might have shed a few tears too, I’m not ashamed to say,” he tells her and Gemma keeps smiling. “You want me to bring something different? Juice says I have enough books to start my own shop.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? That something you interested in?” Gemma asks, raising an eyebrow and Jason frowns.</p>
<p>“I hadn’t though of it.”</p>
<p>Gemma shrugs, but giving him her full attention. “You’re close to finishing your first year, right? A couple more years and you’ll have to decide what you want to do.”</p>
<p>“I’m not worried. I have time,” Jason tells her and it’s true. For the first time in his life he’s trying very hard to just live in the moment, not think about every single thing that is happening around him, that could be happening. And honestly, thinking about college, what he wants to do after it, it doesn’t stress him all that much. It mostly leaves him happy, happy with where his life’s at right now.</p>
<p>Yeah, he’s in no hurry to worry about the future.</p>
<p>“Alright. Anyway, I don’t read that much. ‘Don’t know what you could bring me that I enjoy.”</p>
<p>Jason looks at her for a few seconds and then shrugs, “<em>Pride and Prejudice</em> is my go-to book for everything. I read it to Juice when he was here because of the stabbing.”</p>
<p>Gemma raises both eyebrows but decides not to comment on that. She just nods, “alright, bring that one over.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Jason says and squeezes her hand again. “I just want you to know that wherever the guys go, I’m sticking around, so if you need anything, you just call me,” he uses his other hand to take a piece of paper from his pocket and passes it to her, “here’s my number.”</p>
<p>Gemma studies it for a few seconds, then his face, then smiles and squeezes his hand, “thanks, Jason.”</p>
<p>“Sure thing,” he says and lets go. Before he can say anything else, the door to her room opens and he turns to it, seeing Clay in the doorway. “Hey,” he says and Clay nods.</p>
<p>“Probably a good thing you’re here. Juice’s being patched up,” he says, seriously.</p>
<p>“What?” Jason asks, worriedly.</p>
<p>Clay sighs, “he got jumped by three guys.”</p>
<p>“Randomly?” Jason asks and Clay shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Club business. His cut got taken.”</p>
<p>“Oh, baby,” Gemma says from the bed but Jason doesn’t turn to her.</p>
<p>“He’s not taking it well,” Clay says and Jason nods.</p>
<p>“Right, I’ll go find him,” he turns to Gemma, “I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course, you go to him,” she says with a wave and then he’s out of the room.</p>
<p>Jason goes back to the entrance of St. Thomas, is told that Juice is waiting to see someone in a private room and goes to it.</p>
<p>He doesn’t bother knocking as he opens the door. Juice is sitting on a marquise, t-shirt on.</p>
<p>“Did Clay call you?” He asks, in a defeated tone and Jason goes to him. He raises a hand to touch his head, but Juice moves back, not letting him, so he lets his hand fall.</p>
<p>“I was visiting Gemma.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Juice says and then is silent.</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t know what to say, what to do. Juice clearly got his ass handed to him. By the way he’s breathing, his ribs aren’t great and he might need stitches in his face.</p>
<p>“What happened?” He finally asks.</p>
<p>“I got jump by three Calavera guys. They’re the ones who shot up the wake,” he explains.</p>
<p>Jason nods, figures there’s more to the story, that the Club already went after the guys first.</p>
<p>“They stole my cut,” Juice says, staring at the floor, shoulders slumped, and Jason has to force himself not to just hug him.</p>
<p>“I can get it back,” he says, already thinking how it shouldn’t take more than a few hours to find the guys, find the vest.</p>
<p>Juice raises his head, glaring at him, and it’s the first time Jason’s ever had that directed at him. “I don’t want you to fix my mistakes!”</p>
<p>Jason blinks, then puts both hands up, palms turned to Juice. “OK,” he says and knows he sounds conciliatory, not being all that surprised when it does nothing to diminish Juice’s anger.</p>
<p>“I don’t need a knight in shining armor. It was my mistake and I’ll deal with it. I don’t need… You don’t need to show up every time I get a fucking splint.”</p>
<p>Jason crosses his arms. He’s pretty sure Juice is just lashing out because he’s angry at himself, but he doesn’t know what to do. He certainly won’t accept to be his pushing bag, not for his wounded pride, but he can kind of see that offering right away to get his cut wasn’t the best idea.</p>
<p>But Jason is used to fixing things with actions. He’s not one to just sit around.</p>
<p>Juice laughs, not amusedly. “Maybe the guys will just give my cut to you. At least that way it wouldn’t be a waste.”</p>
<p>“Juice…” Jason starts, not entirely sure what to say next. This feels like something that’s been building up for a while.</p>
<p>Juice passes a hand through his head, the leans it down, hiding his eyes.</p>
<p>Again, Jason raises a hand, goes to touch Juice’s shoulder but feels him tensing up and drops it without touching him. He feels helpless in a way he’s not used to anymore.</p>
<p>“I’m a fuck up,” Juice says and Jason’s first instinct is to refute that, but he decides to stay quiet and just listen to him. Not everything is about him; sometimes just listening is enough. “Do you think this would have ever happened to one of the other guys?” He raises his head, eyes glistening, “to you?”</p>
<p>Jason still keeps quiet. He knows that Juice knows that he’s not exactly your average Joe when it comes to fighting skill.</p>
<p>“They would have died before they let their cut be stolen,” Juice says and Jason can’t keep quiet anymore, not about this.</p>
<p>“I know the cut is more than just a piece of clothing, but it isn’t worth your life.”</p>
<p>Juice doesn’t say anything to that right away. Then he looks away, to the door. “I want to be alone.”</p>
<p>That catches Jason by surprise. He opens his mouth to say something – anything –, but closes it before any word comes out. He really doesn’t want to leave Juice by himself, he knows his thoughts will just keep whirling, dragging him to a dark place, but he also doesn’t want him to feel like he doesn’t have a choice, like Jason will ignore what he wants.</p>
<p>“OK,” he finally says. “Can I stay outside? Wait until you’re finished?” He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Juice says no but luckily, he doesn’t have to find out, since after a few seconds, Juice finally nods. “OK,” he repeats and goes to move forward again, to kiss Juice on the forehead, but in the end, decides not to.</p>
<p>He leaves the room in silence and once outside, leans on the wall by the door. He exhales slowly.</p>
<p>This is a mess, and he has a feeling it’s just the tip of the iceberg.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Hours later, when Juice’s been patched up and sent home, they go to their motorcycles in silence. Juice still looks beat down and Jason feels helpless.</p>
<p>He’s good with actions, with getting things fixed. It’s not like he’s ever been all that great with words, or had good examples. He remembers a lot about his mom, but not serious conversations and as for Bruce… he’d rather get punched in the face than have any meaningful talk.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to come to your place?” Jason asks as they reach Juice’s motorcycle, his being further away. He wants Juice to say yes, doesn’t want to leave him alone, but he won’t force his presence.</p>
<p>Juice looks up, to the sky, silent for a few seconds. Then he exhales and looks at Jason, “I don’t think I’m going be good company.”</p>
<p>Jason walks to shorten the distance between them, putting both hands on Juice’s arms, squeezes, happy when he isn’t pushed away again.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to be good company. If you want to be alone… I’m not going to force myself when I’m not wanted.”</p>
<p>“Why would you even want to be around me right now? I was a prick to you.”</p>
<p>“You were hurt.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t make it OK,” Juice says and Jason keeps his hands on him.</p>
<p>“No, it doesn’t. But I understand.”</p>
<p>Juice laughs, bitterly, but Jason thinks it’s more towards himself than at him. “I’m guessing it’s been a while since someone took something from you by force.”</p>
<p>Jason blinks, squeezes Juice’s arms, but not in a companionly way anymore.</p>
<p>“Yeah, last time they took my life,” he says, unemotional. He doesn’t think Juice meant to hurt him, probably didn’t even think his words through, but they still hurt.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Juice says. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” he passes a hand through his face. “It’s probably better you don’t come with me. Who knows what more stupid shit I’ll say.”</p>
<p>Jason lowers his arms.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or do, Juice. I want to support you, whatever you choose. But this, you pushing me away… I don’t want to push back and make you leave, but I don’t want to leave you alone and make you think that’s what I want either.”</p>
<p>Juice studies him for a few seconds before throwing himself into a hug with Jason, who immediately raises his arms to hold him back.</p>
<p>“I’m a fucking mess, Jason. I don’t know… I just…” He doesn’t say anything else for several moments. Jason just holds him back. “I feel like I’m swimming against the tide.”</p>
<p>Jason sighs against his neck, waits until Juice is the first to pull back to move his hands down, so that he can interlace their fingers.</p>
<p>“I felt that way too, after shit went down in Gotham. So I left and I travelled and eventually, I just forced myself to really think about what I wanted to do with my life, and what I was going to do to get there.”</p>
<p>“Are you telling me to leave?” Juice asks, frowning.</p>
<p>“No. I’m just saying that if you need some time… from me, from the Club. You don’t own us anything, Juice. You’re allowed to put yourself first.”</p>
<p>Juice doesn’t say anything, eyes glistening. He lets go of one of Jason’s hands so that he can use it to wipe his eyes.</p>
<p>“You’re pretty damn perfect, you know that, right?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not. I’ve just had to deal with a lot of shit.”</p>
<p>Juice laughs. It’s not his normal, care-free laugh, but it isn’t as forced as before. “That’s an understatement.”</p>
<p>Jason nods, but doesn’t say anything. He just waits Juice out in silence, looking at him as he clearly thinks about what Jason said.</p>
<p>“Turns out Abel is in Belfast, not Canada. I’m going there with the guys. But after that… I don’t know, we’ll see. Maybe I do need to take a long ride somewhere and just think about things. Though you know I don’t do well on my own.”</p>
<p>“I know. And I’ll go with you if you want me to. And I’ll stay if you want to go alone. It’s up to you.”</p>
<p>Juice starts crying, silently, just a few tears running down his eyes. “I love you so much.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Jason says and kisses Juice, putting all his feelings into it, happily receiving everything Juice gives him in return.</p>
<p>After a few seconds, Juice pulls back, leaning their foreheads together. “How about we just order some food and watch a film at my place? I think I’m done with talking for a while.”</p>
<p>Jason nods against his head, “you got it, babe.”</p>
<p>Juice leans back, looks like he wants to say something else, but in the end just keeps quiet and lets go, going to his own motorcycle. Jason leaves him to go to his own and even though they’re going to the same place, somehow he feels like there’s some distance between them that he doesn’t know how to reach.</p>
<p>Doesn’t think it’s truly his distance. Decides to simply be there for Juice, however he wants that to look like.</p>
<p>.                                                 </p>
<p>The next day, Juice shows up at Jason’s for dinner with his cut back. But his mood hasn’t improved all that much.</p>
<p>Jason decides not to ask right away, instead waiting until they’re sitting down, eating some of the roast he made before finally asking, “you OK?”</p>
<p>Juice doesn’t answer right away, playing with his food instead. That’s not normal Juice behavior. He loves food and usually eats his first few bites with barely any pause to breathe.</p>
<p>“The Mayans had my cut.” Jason makes a questioning sound at that. He knows the Mayans are a rival gang, in the drug trade, that the closest charter is in Oakland but he doesn’t see what they have to do with Juice’s cut getting stolen. “The guys who jumped me, they’re from the Calaveras MC, based in Lodi. The Mayans were going to patch them over.”</p>
<p>“Going to?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Clay convinced the Mayans they’d be better off working with the Grim Bastards, also based in Lodi and connected with SAMCRO. Anyway, I guess the Calaveras gave the Mayans my cut, and Alvarez, the president, gave it to me.” He doesn’t look happy about it, still playing with his food.</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t say anything right away, takes a bite from his food, takes his time in chewing and swallowing.</p>
<p>Before he can say anything, Juice’s the one who speaks first, “he called me a disgrace to all Latinos.”</p>
<p>Jason blinks, doesn’t know what to say to that. What he does want to do is kick in this Alvarez guy’s door and break his face. But that’s not what Juice wants at all, so he swallows the impulse down.</p>
<p>“And then Jax grabbed the Calaveras’ President and told me to make it right and I did. Kicked the shit out of him. But he was… He barely fought back,” Juice clenches his jaw, clearly grabbing onto his fork with too much strength. “That’s all I’m good for, right? Getting insulted, my cut stolen and then beating someone who looks like he’s already gone a few rounds.”</p>
<p>“Juice…” Jason starts but doesn’t know where to go to next.</p>
<p>Juice pulls a hand up, palm towards him, passing a hand through his face with the other. “I sound like a whiny bitch.”</p>
<p>Jason grabs the hand he still has up, waits until Juice looks at him before speaking, “you’re not a whiny bitch. You’re… you’re dealing with something, Juice. And I don’t know what it is; I don’t think even you fully know. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re allowed your own feelings, OK? I don’t judge, remember?” He asks, remembering all the times Juice has said that to him.</p>
<p>Juice doesn’t say anything right away, just nods. Finally, he squeezes Jason’s hand and lets go.</p>
<p>Jason wants to go to him, hug him and possibly take him away from this town but he knows that would be controlling as fuck, to say the least.</p>
<p>“Maybe Belfast will be good to you. A fresh of breath air.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Juice laughs, half-amused, half-not, “Belfast is exactly the type of place one goes to to relax.”</p>
<p>Jason laughs, “I think you’d be bored in a normal small town.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, maybe,” Juice says, smiles. Then he frowns, “you know, this is the first time we’re going to be away from each for so long. I don’t know when we’ll be back.”</p>
<p>Jason thinks about that. It’s true. Last time Juice was away was probably for Indian Hills, some months back, and they hadn’t been together for all that long then.</p>
<p>“I should probably say something about how space is healthy and all that, right?”</p>
<p>Juice laughs and this time he sounds more like himself, his eyes squinting happily. “I don’t think we need a whole ocean between us.”</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, then grows serious again, “I’m gonna miss you. But I know you have to do this and I support you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. That really means a lot to me. Your support, your trust… I might be a mess right now, but without you… I’d be far worse.”</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t say anything right away, thinking things through but, again, Juice is the first to speak.</p>
<p>“Shit, sorry, that sounds like I’m putting all my happiness in your hands or something like that. I just meant that…”</p>
<p>“It’s good to have someone in your corner,” Jason finishes for him and Juice smiles.</p>
<p>“Yeah, exactly.”</p>
<p>Jason smiles and they go back to eating. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re improving. He just hopes Belfast really does help Juice and not make things worse.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Jason finishes classes for the day and decides to head to Teller-Morrow. His plan had been to go visit Gemma in county, but then he got a call from Juice before he got on the plane and found out that she was going with them while Tig had stayed behind to get the cops of their backs.</p>
<p>So Jason decides to go visit him instead. He’d met him just a few days before and he sure was a wild one, but Jason kind of liked him too.</p>
<p>As he walks closer to where Tig is working on a suspended car, he can hear him muttering, clearly angry at something. Or someone.</p>
<p>“Hey, everything alright?” Jason asks and Tig turns with a wrench in his hand, surprised and eyes wild. It quickly dissolves into a relaxed pose when he sees who it is.</p>
<p>“Hey, man, how you doing?” He asks with a smile.</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “Juice told me you got stuck behind. Thought you might be bored.”</p>
<p>“You have no idea. You know who I’m stuck with? Three prospects, one old man and a back stabbing traitor!” Those last three words he says in a yell, turning back to the inside of the garage.</p>
<p>A blond guy, working on a different car, raises his head to yell back, “fuck you! I already apologized, didn’t I?”</p>
<p>“I don’t give a shit, you piece of shit!” Tig yells back and the guy just shows him the finger. Tig turns back to Jason, “can you believe that guy? Should have stayed in county. Better company there!” He once again yells and Jason glances between him and the other guy, who this time decides to pretend he couldn’t hear him.</p>
<p>Jason almost asks what’s the beef but decides with the way Tig’s acting, that’ll just be like adding fuel to the fire.</p>
<p>“Hey Tig!” A guy comes running out of the office, “Lumpy’s on the phone for you.”</p>
<p>“Shit, I’ll be right back,” Tig tells him and then he’s going to the office. The guy waves at Jason – he only has the indicator.</p>
<p>“Hi, I’m Chucky.”</p>
<p>Ah, Jason’s heard about him.</p>
<p>“Jason,” he says, and Chucky smiles. Before he can say anything else, Tig is back.</p>
<p>“Gotta run. Hey, Kozik, time to get the prospects.”</p>
<p>“Everything alright?” The blond – Kozik – asks as he walks towards them, cleaning his hands on a piece of cloth.</p>
<p>“Lumpy just a got a visitor. He thinks whoever’s trying to buy him out is willing to turn things violent.”</p>
<p>“Shit,” Kozik says and leaves the garage, supposedly to get the prospects from the club house.</p>
<p>“You want me to come?”</p>
<p>Tig studies him for a few seconds, then shrugs. “Sure. You ever met Lumpy?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been by his gym.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Tig asks, interested.</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “the guys were wimps.”</p>
<p>Tig smiles, showing off his teeth. “Man, I like you. I really don’t get how Juice managed to bag you. Be honest with me, he sucks cock like a pro, right?”</p>
<p>Jason rolls his eyes. He has no idea if Tig wants a punch to the face or if this truly is his personality, that he just never knows when to stop.</p>
<p>“Stop being an asshole and let’s go,” he says, turning his back on him.</p>
<p>“I’m sure Juice likes it when you’re in charge,” Tig says to his back, to which Jason decides to play deaf. Still, he can’t help a small smile at his comments. He’s crude but Tig also seems to be one of the most genuine people he’s ever met.</p>
<p>Bikers. Who knew they’d be some of the most surprising people he’d meet in Charming?</p>
<p>Jason and the three prospects take their motorcycles, while Kozik and Tig ride on the tow.</p>
<p>It’s been a while since Jason went to Lumpy’s and the street his gym’s at looks pretty much abandoned. He remembers what Tig said, about some guy trying to buy him out, turning violent. He can see that Lumpy is clearly the only one still hanging around.</p>
<p>The gym smells of sweat and mold, which unfortunately do not cancel each other out.</p>
<p>Jason hangs back as the guys talk to the old man, listening with one ear to their conversation, the rest of his attention wandering around the place.</p>
<p>None of the guys are pros, that’s for sure. Most are old, in their forties, probably trying to keep in shape, but deciding your traditional gym just wasn’t cutting it.</p>
<p>The guys move to exit and he goes too, and then Kozik is making jabs at Tig. He’d wondered how the two of them had gotten the marks in their faces, had stupidly assumed it had involved someone not of their own club.</p>
<p>Jason smiles as Tig falls for it and the guys take off their vests, then their T-shirts. Lumpy is smiling too, shaking his head, as he watches them enter the ring.</p>
<p>Just like when he’d fought him, Tig is aggressive, doesn’t waste time in waiting for Kozik to throw the first punch.</p>
<p>It’s a dirty fight; they’re going to end up even bloodier than they first went in.</p>
<p>After a couple minutes, Jason walks closer to the ring and whistles, calling for their attention.</p>
<p>It takes a few more seconds, but they finally part ways.</p>
<p>“What?” Tig asks, “we were just warming up.”</p>
<p>“I can see that. Wanna make it more interesting?”</p>
<p>“Whatcha got in mind?” Tig asks, Kozik looking interested beside him.</p>
<p>“The two of you versus me. ‘Been a while since I’ve had a good fight and this way, I figure it at least won’t be a complete waste of my time.”</p>
<p>“You’re a piece of work, you know that, right?” Tig asks, but he doesn’t sound angry. Jason just shrugs.</p>
<p>Tig turns to Kozik, who shrugs in response, leaving the decision to Tig, who turns back to Jason.</p>
<p>“Alright, big man, let’s see what you’ve got.”</p>
<p>Jason moves his head to the right, ready to find some gloves, but Lumpy’s already there, offering him a pair.</p>
<p>“Good luck, kid,” he says and Jason just smiles, showing off his teeth.</p>
<p>He gets in the ring, starts jumping up and down on the balls of his feet. He can feel his adrenaline rising. It really has been too long.</p>
<p>Again, Tig is first to attack but this time, Jason can’t just focus on him, there’s Kozik too, and despite whatever issues the two of them have, they also know each other well enough not to step on any toes.</p>
<p>Kozik is an aggressive fighter too, but seems willing to follow Tig’s lead. If Tig goes right, he goes left. Jason had thought he’d dance with the two of them for a while, but he quickly figures out that if he doesn’t put one out of commission fast, then he really will be eating his words out.</p>
<p>And that just aint’ happening, not to a couple bikers in the middle of nowhere.</p>
<p>He smiles and the next time Kozik goes for a punch, he blocks him and punches him on the stomach, with enough strength that the guy clearly feels winded. He doesn’t drop to his knees but it’s a close thing.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, that gives Tig enough room that he decides to jump to Jason’s back, starting to punch him on the side. Jason laughs. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt, but on a scale of zero to literally everything he’s had to deal with? It’s barely a three.</p>
<p>Jason walks backwards until Tig is touching the ropes of the ring and then starts hitting him back with his elbow. Tig is holding on strongly and with a few more hits, Jason’s sure he’d get him on the floor, but Kozik is already back up, and walking towards him with a mean face on.</p>
<p>So Jason decides there’s really only one thing to do and throws Tig at Kozik. The impact is loud and they go down in a heap, not pretty at all.</p>
<p>Jason waits to see what they do next, but Tig just rolls over onto his back.</p>
<p>“Shit, man, where’d you learn that? Wait, let me guess. Gotham?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I think that one was in Brazil,” he says and Tig raises his head just enough so that he can send him an incredulous look. Jason shrugs, “I led an interesting life before moving to Charming.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can see that,” Kozik says, laying on the floor and panting. “Shit, I’m getting too old for this.”</p>
<p>Jason laughs and goes to offer him a hand up. Kozik takes it, while Tig rolls over, getting to his knees and then slowly standing up.</p>
<p>“So, you’re from Gotham?” He asks after letting go and Jason nods.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you?”</p>
<p>“Oregon originally. Now I live in Tacoma, I’m the Sergeant at Arms with the Sons’ charter there.”</p>
<p>Jason nods, and they all leave the ring.</p>
<p>“Shit man, you really broke my back,” Tig says as he drops onto a bench.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Jason says, not apologetic at all. When Tig glares at him for it, he sends him a shit eating grin.</p>
<p>“I hate you so much. Jesus Christ, couldn’t Juice just land some twink?”</p>
<p>Jason laughs at that.</p>
<p>“I can see why you stopped showing up,” Lumpy tells him, passing him a towel. Jason barely sweated but decides to take it.</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “I’m used to harder hitters.”</p>
<p>“Were you in the army? You got some serious skills,” Kozik tells him and Jason shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Nah. But growing up in Gotham… sometimes it did feel like a war zone.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, man, the news coming out of it… It’s some hard shit.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know the half of it,” Jason says and then they’re moving on.</p>
<p>Tig decides to leave one of the prospects – Jason should probably learn their names – behind, passing him a gun. The guy looks like he’s about to shit himself and Jason says as much when they’re outside.</p>
<p>Tig just shrugs, “he’s gotta learn sometime, right?” When Jason keeps staring, he sighs, “Darby isn’t coming back anytime soon and anyone else… Everyone likes Lumpy way too much to do him any serious harm.”</p>
<p>Jason decides to accept that and shrugs.</p>
<p>“Hey, man,” Tig calls him before getting on the tow. Jason raises an eyebrow in question. “You’re welcome at the club anytime, alright?”</p>
<p>Jason nods, doesn’t move for a few seconds. Tig just waits him out. Jason sighs and shows him his hand, beckoning with his fingers, “give me your phone. Look, I’m not helping with anything illegal, but if a problem comes up and you want an extra hand, call me, alright?”</p>
<p>Tig nods and passes him the cellphone. Jason puts in his number, then hands it over.</p>
<p>“Thanks, man,” Tig says and Jason nods.</p>
<p>Then they both go their own ways.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Around eleven pm, Jason is lying in bed, reading a book, when his cellphone rings. He smiles when he sees Juice’s name on the visor, quickly accepting his call.</p>
<p>“Hey, babe,” he says, in a warm tone.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Juice replies, sounding warm too, and relaxed.</p>
<p>“Isn’t it like seven am there?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, none of us has really slept. There was a party, and now Jax’s gone to meet with a priest. The good father should know where Abel is.”</p>
<p>“A priest, seriously?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s in deep with the Army.”</p>
<p>“Fucking Ireland,” Jason says. He has no idea just who this priest his, but he can imagine the type. Does every single shit thing he says no one else should, feels protected because he’s a <em>“man of God.”</em> Utter shit.</p>
<p>“Yeah, there was a random checkpoint, Jimmy trying to get us sent back home. But we got through it, no problem.”</p>
<p>“That’s good,” Jason says and then is silent for a few seconds. “You sound well.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think you were right. A fresh of breath air… I feel good. Better than I’ve felt these past few days.”</p>
<p>“That’s good,” Jason says, genuinely happy to hear about it.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about how I acted, Jason. About getting my cut taken, and Alvarez… I shouldn’t have put that on you.”</p>
<p>“I know. I forgive you, babe.”</p>
<p>Juice exhales, “I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too. So, the party?”</p>
<p>“Not bad, but not as good as the ones there.”</p>
<p>“Well, when you’re back with Abel, I imagine there’s going to be one hell of a party.”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah. ‘Can’t wait for it.”</p>
<p>Jason hmms. There isn’t really anything that he feels like saying, but he’s happy just being on the line with Juice.</p>
<p>“Me and the guys played some poker afterwards.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Jason smiles, “you any good?”</p>
<p>“I cheat,” Juice answers, unrepentant, and Jason laughs.</p>
<p>“That means you gonna take me somewhere nice when you come back, baby?”</p>
<p>“Nah, we played for fake money. And anyway, I didn’t cheat for me. Clay won.”</p>
<p>Jason’s smile softens, “you got a soft spot for the old man?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s been good to me. He deserves some wins.”</p>
<p>Jason keeps smiling as he tells Juice, “you’re a good man.”</p>
<p>Juice inhales, then sighs, “sometimes I wonder.”</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t say anything right away. “I think it isn’t as black and white as most people make it seem. But I do think you’re a good man.”</p>
<p>“I think you’re good too, Jason,” Juice tells him and it isn’t the first time they’ve said those words to each other, but they still mean something.</p>
<p>After a few seconds of just hearing each other breathe, Juice asks, “how was your day?”</p>
<p>“Kicked the shit out of Tig. Again. Oh, and Kozik.”</p>
<p>Juice laughs, “what’d they do to piss you off?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, I was just bored.”</p>
<p>Juice keeps laughing. “You know you should definitely enter some illegal fight club, right? You’d make a shitload of cash.”</p>
<p>“Eh, it’d be too easy. That’s why I fought the two of them together. And it was harder than I expected. Had to throw Tig into Kozik.”</p>
<p>“Damn, I’m sure Tig loved that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I figured he has some issues with Kozik. You know what it is?”</p>
<p>“Nah, it’s before my time. But whatever it is, he’s still pissed. We took a vote to transfer Kozik to SAMCRO, but Tig voted nay. Transfer has to be unanimous. At least we got Happy.”</p>
<p>“At least there’s that.”</p>
<p>“You’ll meet him properly when we’re back. He’s… not everyone’s cup of tea, I guess, but he’s been good to me.”</p>
<p>“That sounds good enough to me,” Jason says, then he yawns. Damn, he isn’t used to late nights anymore.</p>
<p>Juice laughs, “I can hear you’re sleepy. We’ll talk another time, alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jason nods, “’love you.”</p>
<p>“Love you too, baby. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, you too,” Jason says and then disconnects the call.</p>
<p>He smiles as he puts his cellphone and the book on his bedside table, shutting of the light. Then he turns on his side, stretching out an arm towards what has become pretty much Juice’s side.</p>
<p>He’s not used to sleeping alone anymore. But it’s just a few more days, Jason reminds himself, and then falls asleep.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Jason’s had a busy day with classes and it’s late afternoon when he rides back into Charming and parks on Main Street to go buy some food. He’s just taken off his helmet when he hears a voice he didn’t think he’d ever hear again.</p>
<p>“Jason,” it’s a statement, not a question.</p>
<p>Still with the helmet in his hands, Jason turns to his left.</p>
<p>It’s Dick. He looks… older. More wrinkles around his face, though he still looks like a freaking model.</p>
<p>Jason imagines putting his helmet back on, riding away. But there is no fucking way that Dick just happened to be strolling down Charming, a town in the freaking other side of the country from Gotham, simply because.</p>
<p>So, slowly, Jason gets up from his motorcycle, puts his helmet away. Then he turns to Dick.</p>
<p>“What the fuck are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“I… Got a couple free days.”</p>
<p>“So you flew all the way here?”</p>
<p>Dick nods, “yes. I’ve been… I’ve wanted to talk to you for some time.”</p>
<p>Jason clenches his jaw at that. He forces himself to relax, “and what if I don’t want to talk to you?”</p>
<p>Dick sighs, “I don’t want to force myself on your time. I just… We didn’t exactly get a chance to talk last time.”</p>
<p>“It’s been two fucking years, Dick!” Jason says in a raised voice, sees people turn to look at them and forces himself to relax. He walks forward until they’re closer. “And last time… Last time you tried to stop me as I built a criminal enterprise to get Batman to kill the Joker, remember?”</p>
<p>He hates himself for the way he says Batman and not Bruce. It’s just something that’s been engraved so far into him – no names, just codenames – that he can’t simply ignore it. Like a fucking trained dog.</p>
<p>Dick sighs again, “I know. And I’ve… Me and Barbara, we’ve kept tabs on you. Bruce too, I’m sure, though we’ve never talked about it.” And that, that definitely shouldn’t hurt. What did he expect? “Congratulations on entering Berkeley.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Jason sees red. He grabs Dick by the lapels of his jacket, uncaring for the way people are staring, some walking away, and pushes their faces closer, until he’s almost spitting onto Dick. “Fuck. You.” He enunciates slowly. He feels so angry he can’t even talk.</p>
<p>Dick raises both hands, palms turned to Jason, clearly a conciliatory gesture. “I’m not here to start any trouble, Jason.”</p>
<p>“Why the fuck are you here, Dick? I know Charming isn’t as perfect as it sells itself, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t deserve a personal fucking visit from Nightwing.”</p>
<p>“I’m not here on business. I’m just here for you.”</p>
<p>Jason squeezes his hands. “What is this, Dick? You didn’t care when I was a kid. You didn’t try to talk to me when I came back to Gotham. And now, two fucking years later, you show up uninvited in my life?” He’s almost shaking with rage.</p>
<p>It’s been a long fucking time since he felt so out of control.</p>
<p>He forces himself to breathe, to think of Juice. Though he doesn’t really want to think about Juice as he deals with Dick. Those are two parts of his life that should not meet. Dick is the past and that’s where he should have stayed.</p>
<p>“You have no right in showing up here,” Jason tells him, in a more controlled voice, relaxing his hold on Dick, but not letting go.</p>
<p>Dick nods, “I know. I know. I just… I never stopped thinking about you. Not after you died and I felt like a total jackass for the way I treated you. And not after you came back and the way we treated you.”</p>
<p>“So you’re here for, what? Repentance?”</p>
<p>“I thought… Maybe if I saw you it’d be enough. But I… It’s one thing to read what Barbara sends me, about how your degree is going. It’s another to know.”</p>
<p>“Know what?”</p>
<p>“Are you happy, Jason?” Dick asks and he looks… he looks like a fucking puppy. A hurt puppy, like he’s got any right to ask.</p>
<p>Jason punches him. He puts enough force behind it that a normal guy would have been knocked out. But Dick just stumbles back a few steps. He raises a hand to his jaw, moves it around.</p>
<p>“I deserved that.”</p>
<p>“Fuck. You! I don’t owe you shit! What the fuck does it matter if I’m happy or not? What do you think you can do if I say no, uh? Drag me home, kicking and screaming? I’m not a little kid to be manipulated anymore!” Jason yells, knows he’s causing a scene; someone is probably calling the cops, but he’s shaking, he’s so fucking angry.</p>
<p>Why the fuck is Dick here? Why couldn’t he have stayed in Gotham, where he belongs? Where, more importantly, Jason never has to think of him?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Jason. I didn’t want to upset you. That’s not why I came,” Dick says, in a calming tone, both hands raised, and it just pisses Jason more.</p>
<p>“I don’t give a shit what you want or why you came! I want you to fucking leave! Forget I exist! You’re good at that, so why stop now?” He asks and thinks <em>“good”</em> at the way Dick flinches at the last comment.</p>
<p>Dick doesn’t say anything for a while. Jason is still breathing heavily, hands clenched into fists by his sides.</p>
<p>Dick moves one hand inside his jacket, takes out a piece of paper. He offers it to Jason, “this is my phone number. I leave in two days’ time. I won’t… I won’t show up unannounced again. But if you want to meet before I leave…” Jason doesn’t move and Dick shakes the paper, “please, Jason. I’m sorry about how things went out. I’d really… I’d like to talk to you.”</p>
<p>Jason forces himself to relax. Takes the paper. He’s half a mind to just tear it into tiny little pieces right there, but something… something stops him.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I upset you,” Dick says and before Jason can say anything – he doesn’t even know what – he turns around and walks away.</p>
<p>Jason shoves the paper with his phone number in his jeans’ pocket. Then goes back to his motorcycle. There’s no fucking way he’s going shopping now. He puts his helmet on, almost starts his ride, then realizes that with the way he’s shaking, chances are he’ll get into an accident. Which isn’t as bad an idea as it should be, but then he thinks of hurting some innocent bystander and takes off his helmet.</p>
<p>Teller-Morrow isn’t far away. In the mood he’s in, it’s far too dangerous for him to fight anyone, but the clubhouse will at least have some booze.</p>
<p>Going home to his empty house definitely isn’t going to improve his mood.</p>
<p>Jason starts walking away. He’ll come for his motorcycle later.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>As Jason enters the clubhouse, he immediately knows something isn’t right. No prospects, no pretty women in sight, just Tig, Kozik and an old man, who he assumes is Piney, Opie’s dad.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he says and they all have drinks in their hands.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Tig says back, turning his head to him from where he has it dropped on his hands.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Jason asks, for a second forgetting all about Dick.</p>
<p>Before Tig can answer, the old man frowns and looks him up and down. “Who’re you?”</p>
<p>“I’m Jason.”</p>
<p>“Juice’s boyfriend,” he says and sounds a bit judgmental, but not as much as he could. “I’m Piney.”</p>
<p>“Pleasure,” Jason says. Then he turns back to Tig. “So, what’s going on?”</p>
<p>“It’s all fucked up, man,” he says, turning back to his bottle. So Jason turns his attention to Kozik.</p>
<p>“You heard about Lumpy?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s in the hospital.”</p>
<p>“Salazar did it, he was the president of the Calaveras MC.”</p>
<p>“He had Juice’s cut taken,” Jason says, remembering, and they all look a bit surprised that he knows that much, but move on.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and now he’s taken Tara, Jax’s old lady, and her boss.”</p>
<p>“What, why?”</p>
<p>“They were probably together. I don’t think Salazar cares about the boss at all.”</p>
<p>“What’s he demanding?”</p>
<p>“Alvarez dead, and a quarter of a million dollars.”</p>
<p>“Shit,” Jason says, with feeling.</p>
<p>“We got Alvarez to agree to play dead for twenty-four hours but the money… No idea where we’re going to get it.”</p>
<p>Jason frowns. He has some money, but not nearly that much, not after he paid to get the Joker killed.</p>
<p>And then he remembers that someone with a pretty nice trust fund is staying not too far away.</p>
<p>“Let me make a phone call,” he says and Kozik raises his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“You can get your hands on that kind of cash?”</p>
<p>“Like I said, let me make a phone call,” Jason answers, doesn’t want to give them false hopes.</p>
<p>Without waiting for another word, he goes outside, takes out the piece of paper with Dick’s number and dials it, doesn’t give himself time to doubt this.</p>
<p>Maybe there’s another way to get Tara back, but this is the cleanest.</p>
<p>“Hello?” Dick asks, tone professional, but warm.</p>
<p>“Dick, it’s me.”</p>
<p>“Jason?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad you called,” Dick says, sounding even warmer. Jason makes a fist with the hand not holding the phone. The urge to punch him isn’t any less strong with some distance between them.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, you wanna meet up? I need a favor.”</p>
<p>It takes a few seconds before Dick asks, “what favor?”</p>
<p>Jason laughs, humorlessly. “I guess the days of answering back with <em>anything</em> are long gone.” Dick doesn’t say anything to that, so he continues, “I need a quarter mill until tomorrow. Cash.”</p>
<p>“Shit, are you serious? I’m a cop, I don’t have that type of money.”</p>
<p>“You’re Bruce Wayne’s son. Your trust fund is more than enough to cover this, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>Dick is silent for a few seconds, “I don’t touch that money, Jason. Not unless it’s a real emergency.”</p>
<p>“This is an emergency!” Jason yells. “What, you think I want it to… What, buy illegal guns? Drugs?”</p>
<p>“The last time I saw you was two years ago, Jason, and you didn’t exactly leave the best impression.”</p>
<p>Jason comes really close to telling him to fuck off and disconnecting, but then he remembers he isn’t calling for himself, that Tara and her boss can get seriously hurt, if not worse, if Dick doesn’t see things his way. He forces himself to breathe, relax, unclench his fist.</p>
<p>“I know you have no reason to trust me, but I’m telling you, it’s an emergency. Two friends have been kidnapped. The money’s for the exchange.”</p>
<p>“Shit. I can help you get them back-”</p>
<p>“I don’t even know where they are and even if I did, what are you gonna do? Show up in a fucking domino?” He doesn’t give enough time for Dick to answer. “Look, this isn’t Gotham. You do me this favor… and we can meet before you go, alright? Sit down somewhere, talk.”</p>
<p>Dick is silent for a few seconds. If Jason were the religious type, he might pray. As it is, he’s just thinking <em>“come on, don’t be a dick.”</em></p>
<p>“OK. I’m going to need to go to a bigger city for that type of withdrawal. I’ll get it to you tomorrow morning, OK?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he pauses, “thank you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah… but Jason, something like this… It’ll get his attention.” There’s no need to specify who the him is.</p>
<p>Jason laughs, humorlessly, “so what? If you and Barbara have known where I’ve been all these years, you don’t think he has? He doesn’t give a shit, Dick, and honestly, neither do I.”</p>
<p>Dick is silent for a few more seconds. Then, “OK, I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Bye,” Jason replies and doesn’t bother waiting for a response before disconnecting.</p>
<p>He lowers his arm, still holding onto the cellphone, forces himself to relax his breathing. Then he goes back inside.</p>
<p>The mood, if possible, is even darker.</p>
<p>“What?” He asks.</p>
<p>It’s Piney who answers, after downing his shot, “one of Lumpy’s guys called. He’s dead; internal bleeding.”</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Jason says and lowers himself into a catcher’s position, hides his face in his hands for a few seconds, forces himself to get back in control.</p>
<p>After almost a minute, his breathing is back to regular and he’s capable of getting up.</p>
<p>“I got the money. It’ll be here by morning.”</p>
<p>“Jesus fucking Christ. Finally, some good fucking news,” Tig says and downs his shot.</p>
<p>“That’s some serious cash,” Piney says, turning to Jason.</p>
<p>“Well, it ain’t mine,” Jason says, doesn’t really feel like explaining himself.</p>
<p>“That’s some good friends you have there,” still Piney speaking.</p>
<p>Jason is feeling too raw to deal with this. “Look, I’m sorry man but… I’m not in the mood, alright? It’s been a very shitty day.”</p>
<p>The guys all look at him.</p>
<p>“Wanna get drunk?” Tig asks, “’cuz I figure it’s that, a fight or a fuck. And I’m guessing our last fight is gonna look like a kid’s one with the way you’re feeling. And I’m not Puerto Rican, so.”</p>
<p>“I’ll have a drink,” Jason says and pulls up a barstool, dropping heavily onto it.</p>
<p>He drinks the first three shots Tig pours him in silence. He’s not planning on getting full-blown drunk, just enough to take the edge of his anger off.</p>
<p>“You heard from the guys lately?” He asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, shit’s been going down,” Tig says.</p>
<p>“How much do you know?” Piney asks and Jason glares, though it’s half-heartedly. With another shot in him he’s feeling just a bit more relaxed.</p>
<p>“What do you wanna know?”</p>
<p>“Gemma once told my wife that she’d only make it as an old lady if she either knew everything that went on with the club, or nothing.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a fucking old lady,” Jason growls and Piney raises both hands, in a conciliatory manner.</p>
<p>“I know, I’m not saying that. I’m just asking, how much do you know.”</p>
<p>“Everything,” Jason says and looks him straight in the eye, “I already knew everything before I moved to Charming. Juice isn’t the only one good with computers.”</p>
<p>Piney frowns, “why the fuck did you want to know all that?”</p>
<p>Jason drinks another shot, then turns on his stool to Piney, giving him his full attention, though he knows Tig and Kozik are listening to his every word as well. “’Cuz I’m a paranoid motherfucker. I killed a lot of criminals in Gotham and I wanted to know what I was going to find here.”</p>
<p>“You some kind of vigilante?” Kozik asks, though he sounds more curious than anything else. Jason turns to him and he doesn’t look scared. Neither do Tig nor Piney.</p>
<p>“Not really. I was just sending a message.”</p>
<p>No one says anything to that for a while.</p>
<p>“Well, you haven’t killed us yet. Meeting Juice, was that accidental or were you looking for more info? He change your mind through the power of love?” Tig asks and while the words are mocking, he sounds serious.</p>
<p>“I’d already decided not to touch you when I moved here. It’d just create a power vacuum and then I’d have to kill everyone else. And repeat it in a couple years, when another gang moved in,” Jason pauses and finally, thinking of Juice, feels himself calming down. “I did meet Juice by accident.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t say anything else. Maybe if it was Gemma, he’d say something else like <em>“I didn’t expect to fall in love”</em> but as much as he likes these guys, this ain’t that type of relationship.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Tig says and passes him another shot. This time, Jason shakes his head.</p>
<p>“I think it’s time I moved to something lighter.”</p>
<p>Tig just shrugs and gets him a beer.</p>
<p>They’re all silent for a few seconds before Piney talks again. “So, why you moved here from Gotham?”</p>
<p>Jason turns to him, smiles, not happily at all. “That message I was sending? Didn’t really go through. I figured there was nothing keeping me there, that I might as well actually try and do something with my life.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Tig says and then knocks his glass against Jason’s beer. “I, for one, am glad you moved here. ‘Cuz you’re a crazy motherfucker and I like that.”</p>
<p>Jason smiles, knocks his bottle back.</p>
<p>He still feels like ants are crawling all over his body, doesn’t know how to stop that. But here, with the guys, he does feel more relaxed. He thinks of Juice.</p>
<p>A few more days and he’ll be back. And Jason will have talked to Dick, however that ends. He forces himself to focus on that as he keeps drinking, as they toast to Lumpy, and as everyone shares war stories.</p>
<p>His are unconventional, but they’re just as real as the rest of the guys.’</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t know why he expected things not to go to utter shit. Getting the money from Dick turns out to be the easy part. They don’t really talk; just meet up at a random place, Dick passes him a bag full of cash and then Jason’s in the wind. Dick is nice enough not to remind him of his promise or to make any jokes or requests about getting the money back.</p>
<p>It makes Jason want to punch him, but he’d be lying if he said it made him hate him more.</p>
<p>It’s Tig who goes do the trade, with Jason, Kozik and Piney hidden to make sure it all goes well. And it turns out there’s a bunch of cops – ATF – around too and when a couple kids steal the backpack – Jason still can’t believe it – it becomes a huge mess and Salazar gets away.</p>
<p>They do what they can to still find him, but there’re no tracks to follow.</p>
<p>Tig and Kozik go to the police station after Chief Unser gives Tig a call, come back to the clubhouse to tell Jason and Piney that Tara’s boss is safe and sound, that Tara had cut Salazar’s girlfriend in the neck and told him she’d only save her if he let her boss go free.</p>
<p>“She’s pretty badass,” Jason says to that.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and now she’s in serious danger. Her boss says the cut was pretty deep. Girl probably won’t make it,” Tig says. He puts his head in his hands. “I need to tell the guys. They’ll be back tomorrow morning and they need to know what they’ll find.”</p>
<p>No one says anything to that and after taking a shot, Tig goes outside to make the phone call.</p>
<p>They stay silent as Tig is gone. Jason’s mind is running all through possibilities. What can he do to find Tara? All they know is that Salazar had her and her boss at his aunt’s place, that they’re gone now.</p>
<p>“The guys will be here by morning. Abel is safe and sound,” Tig says, coming back in.</p>
<p>“Finally, some good fucking news,” Kozik says and Piney raises his beer to that.</p>
<p>“Yeah, first his son, now his old lady… Jax sure has shit luck,” Tig says, grabbing a glass and pouring some whiskey onto it. “At least you got the money back.”</p>
<p>Jason almost shrugs and says <em>“he wouldn’t have missed it”</em> but as much as he might like these guys, he also doesn’t really think they’re the sort of people he wants knowing that he has connections to which a quarter million don’t make that much difference.</p>
<p>He already did enough talking the previous night. When he told Juice about the people he killed, it had been about trust, offering something from his past. With the guys… he’d just been angry.</p>
<p>Jason takes another sip from his beer. No one is really in a talking mood, but no one feels like leaving either.</p>
<p>Jason remembers this. When the cases were hard to crack and he and Bruce didn’t want to go to bed until they could figure out how all the pieces fit. Of course, usually Bruce made Jason go to bed before they got that answer, what with him being a young boy in need of a regular amount of sleep.</p>
<p>Jason finishes his beer. He definitely doesn’t want to think about Bruce.</p>
<p>In the end, they all crash in the various rooms the clubhouse has. Jason gets the one Juice usually stays in, though enough people have rotated that he decides it’s better to sleep on top of the covers.</p>
<p>He doesn’t fall asleep easily.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>As Juice comes out of the van, Jason goes to hug him. He can see Opie and his girlfriend kissing and while the guys haven’t really raised any issues with Juice having a boyfriend, it isn’t Jason’s boat to rock, so he keeps his hands to himself.</p>
<p>But Juice grabs his face with both hands and kisses him deeply.</p>
<p>“I missed you,” he says against his lips.</p>
<p>“I missed you too,” Jason says. Just being with Juice is enough for him to feel calmer, to finally let go of most of the anger that’s been following him since he first saw Dick in Charming.</p>
<p>“Come on, Juicy-boy, time for church,” Chibs says, clapping Juice on the back.</p>
<p>Juice smiles apologetically, while Jason just nods.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>As Juice walks inside the clubhouse, Jason turns to Gemma. He shakes his head with a smile, “I can’t believe you ran from the hospital.”</p>
<p>“Had to get my grandson,” she says, unashamedly, and Jason goes to hug her. Her love for her family… Maybe it can be too much, but it’s a beautiful thing too.</p>
<p>After letting go, he turns his eyes down, to the baby she’s holding.</p>
<p>“He’s beautiful,” he says, passing a hand through his head.</p>
<p>“Yes, he is,” Gemma says, also looking down. “Come on, let’s go inside. Their meeting shouldn’t be long. Oh, and hey, we’re doing breakfast here tomorrow. I expect to see you.”</p>
<p>“Yes, ma’am,” Jason promises, smiling.</p>
<p>They go inside as Gemma tells him stories about Ireland. It sounds like they were all pretty lucky in not getting seriously hurt.</p>
<p>Jason sits on the barstool, at the end of the bar, and as the doors to the meeting room, or whatever they call it, open, he sees Juice look around, and then smiling as he sees him. He walks to him.</p>
<p>“Hey, I need to run an errand for the club.”</p>
<p>“Is it about Tara?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Juice nods, “gonna see if Salazar’s aunt knows more than what she told the cops.”</p>
<p>Jason nods, “alright.”</p>
<p>“You gonna stick around? No classes?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I… I’ve been skipping this week.”</p>
<p>“Everything alright?” Juice asks, frowning.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s just… someone unexpected showed up. It’s been messing with my mind.”</p>
<p>“Is that how you got the money for Salazar?”</p>
<p>Jason nods but before he can say anything else, Bobby yells “Juice!” from the doorway and Juice looks hurriedly at Jason.</p>
<p>“It’s OK, we’ll talk later,” Jason promises and after quickly kissing him on the cheek, Juice is out the door.</p>
<p>Gemma leaves with Opie and his girlfriend and Jason goes outside to get some fresh air, sits down at one of the picnic tables, watches the guys go and come until eventually four guys in motorcycles ride in. Mayans.</p>
<p>Jason gets up, but stands back; it’s not his business.</p>
<p>As they’re figuring out whatever needs figuring out, the club’s black van comes back, with Bobby, Kozik, Juice and a woman crying out in Spanish. Jason walks towards them.</p>
<p>“Seriously, no one speaks Spanish?” Clay is asking and, of course, sends a look towards Juice, who shrugs.</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t listen to his response, already know what it’s going to be, instead goes to the woman. She’s scared and clearly not a danger. If he lets the Mayans deal with her, it’s just going to traumatize her.</p>
<p><em>“Hey,”</em> he says, in Spanish, <em>“nobody’s going to hurt you.”</em></p>
<p><em>“I don’t know anything!”</em> The woman sobs.</p>
<p>
  <em>“What’s your name?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ramona.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Right, Ramona, I’m Jason and your nephew… he kidnapped a friend of ours. We just want her back.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“He’s a good boy, Hector.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Jesus Christ,” a guy from the Mayans, slicked hair, boots that in pretty much anyone else would look ridiculous, walks forward and takes out a gun, pointing it at Ramona’s head. His vest says “president.” Alvarez, then.</p>
<p>He talks quickly to her, trying to find out where Salazar is and finally, she gives an address. Jason fires it back to the Sons, decides to ride along.</p>
<p>He’s not part of either club and doesn’t know what consequences his actions will have, but he’s not just sticking back, not when there’s a chance someone will get hurt.</p>
<p>Jason rides at the end, knows that there’s some type of hierarchy they follow on runs and definitely doesn’t want to deal with the fallout of stepping on someone’s toes because of it.</p>
<p>They don’t find neither Salazar nor Tara, but two dead women. One, Salazar’s girlfriend, the other, the cops find out, was just an innocent bystander. Salazar killed her for her car.</p>
<p>Jason isn’t sure he’ll be able to not kill him when they find him.</p>
<p>But, turns out they don’t have to find him, because he’s shown up in Jacob Hale’s office.</p>
<p>Jason stands back as Clay and Jax talk with Chief Unser, sees the Mayans ride up.</p>
<p>“You speak good Spanish. For a gringo,” Alvarez says after he approaches Jason, who can see Juice look at them, worriedly.</p>
<p>Jason just nods.</p>
<p>“Where’d you learn it?”</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “I spent some time in South America years ago. Mexico, Colombia…”</p>
<p>“Not the safest places for Americans.”</p>
<p>Jason smiles at him, “I’m from Gotham. I can take care of myself.”</p>
<p>“You’re not wearing a vest,” Alvarez states.</p>
<p>“I’m not part of the club. Just a friend.”</p>
<p>Alvarez studies him for a few more seconds before walking back to his guys. Juice approaches him, still looking nervous.</p>
<p>“Everything alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he was just curious about who I was. ‘Told him I was a friend of the club.”</p>
<p>Juice nods, still looking nervous. Jason wants to hug him but he doesn’t want to give Alvarez any more reasons to keep a close eye on either of them.</p>
<p>“Hey, who came to visit?” Juice asks and Jason sighs.</p>
<p>“Dick, my… adopted brother, I guess.”</p>
<p>Juice raises both eyebrows, “you have a brother?”</p>
<p>“I don’t consider him so. We both got adopted by the same guy; he’d already left the house when I moved in. Barely saw him while I lived there.”</p>
<p>“Was he… connected? To you know who?” Juice asks, clearly asking about the Bat business without being obvious about it.</p>
<p>“He was the first Robin.”</p>
<p>Juice looks really surprised at that, “shit.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I kind of idolized him. But he just saw me as a replacement and didn’t get along with the old man, so he didn’t come home a lot,” Jason says and almost bites his tongue at the word <em>home</em>. But despite how much he hates to think of Wayne Manor, that’s what it was, once upon a time.</p>
<p>“And… After you came back?”</p>
<p>“He tried to stop me. The few… Conversations we had, weren’t nice.”</p>
<p>“And you never saw him after you left Gotham?”</p>
<p>“No,” Jason shakes his head, “he says he’s been keeping tabs on me. But that… It wasn’t enough, that he wanted to know if I was happy.”</p>
<p>“What’d you say to that?”</p>
<p>“I punched him,” Juice raises his eyebrows at that, again, and Jason makes fists with his hands. “When I saw him… I got so angry. More than I’ve been in a very long time. It was like… I don’t know, like no time at all had passed since I’d left.”</p>
<p>Juice raises a hand to Jason’s neck, moving his fingers in a circle around it.</p>
<p>“Alvarez-” Jason starts, but Juice cuts him off.</p>
<p>“I don’t care. You’re dealing with something and I wanna comfort you. If he wants to be a homophobic jerk about it…” Juice shrugs, smiles, “I’ve seen what you do to them.”</p>
<p>Jason smiles back, but it’s quick.</p>
<p>“And you still called him for the money? And he gave it to you?”</p>
<p>“There was no other option. You know I have some cash, but not that much. And yeah… He wanted more details at first, but Dick’s a soft heart. Even if it’d been a lie and I’d just taken off with the money… I don’t think he’d regret giving it to me. That’s just the type of guy he is.”</p>
<p>“You don’t sound that angry anymore,” Juice ventures and Jason sighs. He leans his head on Juice’s shoulder; if he doesn’t care about who sees them, Jason certainly won’t.</p>
<p>“Being here, with you… It’s made it better.”</p>
<p>Juice kisses him on the head. “Did he ask for anything for the money?”</p>
<p>“I told him we’d meet.”</p>
<p>Juice squeezes the hand he still has on his neck. Moves it so that his arm is around Jason’s. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”</p>
<p>“There’s definitely worse things to do for a quarter mil,” Jason says, tries to make it sound like a joke but doesn’t quite get there.</p>
<p>“When are you meeting him?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t called him yet. After this is dealt with, I guess. ‘Have his money to give him back.”</p>
<p>“Well, he’s already given it to you…”</p>
<p>Jason laughs, “forget it.”</p>
<p>Juice shrugs, “it was worth a shot.”</p>
<p>Jason laughs for a couple more seconds, then sighs against Juice’s neck. “I’m glad you’re back.”</p>
<p>“Me too.” He squeezes Jason’s arm, “after this, you go meet with your non-brother and we can have dinner together, yeah? We’ll order some food.”</p>
<p>“That sounds perfect. Though I dunno how good my mood will be after meeting Dick.”</p>
<p>Juice squeezes him again, “and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t be alone. If you think it’s best, then I won’t force you but… You don’t have to deal with this by yourself.”</p>
<p>Jason sighs, turns his head to kiss Juice on the neck. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“And… It’s probably my last night before I go inside.”</p>
<p>Jason’s breath catches at that. He’d pretty much forgotten that.</p>
<p>Juice continues, this time speaking directly to Jason’s ear, in almost a whisper, “I can’t tell you the details, but we should be looking at only three years, parole after less than half.”</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t respond right away. He knows they’re looking at a lot more right now. A year and a half… that’s a serious deal. He wonders what they had to do to make it happen. What they’ll still do.</p>
<p>But this is Juice and he knows and trusts him. Whatever’s going down, Jason trusts him enough to believe it won’t be something he can’t come back from. That they can’t come back from.</p>
<p>“OK,” he says and then they’re being called back by Clay.</p>
<p>“It’s over. Tara’s safe and Salazar went after Jax with an axe. Jax killed him in self-defense.”</p>
<p>Jason puts an arm around Juice’s arm and squeezes. Then he pushes away to go call Dick.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>The idea of meeting Dick in public makes Jason almost want to throw up. He feels like he’ll feel too out in the open, even though he also knows being around other people will work as a barrier for him to keep himself in control.</p>
<p>But in the end, he decides he’ll have to be his own barrier, because he just can’t force himself to sit down at some random café and pretend like everything is just fine and dandy between them.</p>
<p>Dick tells him he’s rented a motorcycle when Jason calls, so Jason tells him to meet him outside Charming and then he leads them to an off the road place, just trees and rocks for a couple miles.</p>
<p>He takes off his helmet slowly, getting up even more slowly. He keeps his breathing in check but truth be told, he doesn’t feel as angry or as stressed as when they first met. It’s probably the fact that he was caught by surprise then, that he didn’t have a choice. And probably the fact that he also knows Juice is back in the states, that he’ll see him in just a few hours.</p>
<p>When he turns around, Dick is leaning on his motorcycle, helmet off. He has a pretty big bruise around his right eye. Jason wonders how he’ll explain it at home.</p>
<p>Dick seems to have decided to wait Jason out in silence.</p>
<p>This time, Jason manages not to get angry at just how fucking thoughtful Dick is.</p>
<p>“Here’s your money,” Jason says and throws the backpack he’d been carrying at him.</p>
<p>“Thanks. Everything go alright with the exchange?”</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “there were some hiccups, but everyone’s safe now.”</p>
<p>Dick nods, “that’s good.”</p>
<p>Jason nods, doesn’t really know what to say, how to feel. But, if he’s fair, he thinks he’s made Dick into a bigger villain is his mind than he actually is. They barely knew each other when Jason was a kid and all he did when he came back to Gotham was to try and stop him from killing criminals. And he’s here now, which is certainly more than can be said about other people.</p>
<p>Jason doesn’t want to feel happy knowing that people – his family – haven’t just forgotten him, but he can’t stop it either.</p>
<p>“So, English major?”</p>
<p>“You know it’s creepy you’ve been keeping track on me for two years, right?”</p>
<p>Dick shrugs, “I learnt from the best.” Then he makes a face, while Jason freezes. He really doesn’t want to talk about Bruce.</p>
<p>“And you, what have you been up to?” It sounds so fucking fake, but anything to change the subject.</p>
<p>“I’m a police detective with the Blüdhaven PD. Though… I’ve been thinking of putting a transfer to Gotham,” Dick puts a hand on the back of his neck, as if embarrassed. Jason just raises an eyebrow and he laughs self-conscious. “Me and Barbara… we’ve grown closer.”</p>
<p>“That’s cool,” Jason says, feels a bit like a tool, but he has no idea what else to say.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you… You have someone too, right?” Dick asks, still self-conscious.</p>
<p>“Juice,” Jason says, not fully sure why. But Dick’s question is just for appearances sake; he definitely knows about Juice and Jason isn’t ashamed.</p>
<p>He feels a bit like he’s having an out of body experience. A couple days ago he was yelling at Dick and punching him and honestly, just a wrong comment away from beating the crap out of him, if not worse, and now they’re… talking relationships?</p>
<p>“A bit of a weird nickname,” Dick is saying, forcing Jason back to the conversation.</p>
<p>Jason raises an eyebrow, does a half-laugh, “seriously?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dick laughs, freely, “’guess I can’t judge.”</p>
<p>Jason shakes his head at that and their laughter dies out. Then they’re silent. It’s awkward and Jason neither knows how to make it better nor actually cares that much.</p>
<p>Dick moves a hand to the inside of his jacket, takes out an envelope and holds it to Jason.</p>
<p>“It’s a letter. From Alfred.”</p>
<p>Jason stares at the envelope.</p>
<p>“I just wanted you to know… We haven’t forgotten you.”</p>
<p>Jason’s breathing is irregular. He takes the envelope, sees the way his name is written on the outside, just his first name, obviously in Alfred’s handwriting, though it’s also probably the first time he hasn’t put a <em>master</em> before it.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Jason forces out, isn’t sure exactly what it is he’s thanking Dick for. The letter? What he said? He puts the envelope in a pocket inside his jacket, makes sure it doesn’t bend.</p>
<p>Dick doesn’t say anything to that and Jason finally forces his eyes up. “You asked me if I was happy and… I am.”</p>
<p>Dick smiles. It isn’t giant but it’s happy; happy for Jason. “That’s good to hear, little wing.”</p>
<p>Jason’s breath catches at that. But he doesn’t feel anger at it. Feels just a bit nostalgic, but barely enough to notice. Certainly not in any amount that makes him want to say, <em>“I lied. Please take me back with you.”</em></p>
<p>Yeah, fuck that. Even if he wasn’t happy in Charming, he certainly wouldn’t move back to Gotham.</p>
<p>“Are you leaving tonight?” Jason asks and Dick nods.</p>
<p>“Yeah, in a few hours.”</p>
<p>Jason almost asks him if he’s got enough time to go meet Juice, but then remembers it’s Juice’s last night before prison and he doesn’t want to share him with anyone.</p>
<p>“I could… I don’t know, would you… would it be OK if I came back?”</p>
<p>Jason almost tells him, <em>“it’s a free country”</em> but bites off the words before they make it out.</p>
<p>In the end, Dick really is the closest thing to a brother he has. Which is all sorts of messed up, really, but it’s the truth. And he’s here, trying. Hasn’t asked for anything in return.</p>
<p>And Jason… Jason realizes that he wouldn’t actually mind a relationship with him. It wouldn’t be like when they were kids anymore, when Jason thought Dick was the next best thing after the Wayne library. No, now they’re on equal ground.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’d like that,” Jason finally says and Dick sends him a thousand-watt smile.</p>
<p>“Good,” he nods, then goes to straddle his motorcycle. Before he puts his helmet on, he says, “I’m really glad you’re happy, Jason. You deserve it.”</p>
<p>Jason nods back, “thanks.” Then he watches him ride away and goes to his own motorcycle.</p>
<p>Before putting his helmet on, he looks up, to the sky. He closes his eyes, feels the sun on his skin, and exhales deeply. Then he puts his helmet on and rides out.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>They order Chinese and cuddle on the sofa while they wait, mostly silent, sometimes having random conversations, like Juice telling him about meeting Chibs’ daughter, who definitely has his attitude, or Jason telling him an anecdote of one of his first meetings with Dick as a kid. For the first time in a very long time, those memories don’t hurt.</p>
<p>He still hasn’t read Alfred’s letter but he will. Tonight is just for them.</p>
<p>Usually they sit and eat at the table; neither likes a mess, but this time they eat on the sofa with the plates on their laps, pretty much connected from arm to leg.</p>
<p>“Hey, so I’ve been thinking… If you want to, there’s no reason to keep paying your rent while you’re inside. I can move your stuff to my place,” Jason says, turning to better see Juice.</p>
<p>“You sure?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Actually… I’m hoping that once you’re out, you won’t want to move your stuff out.”</p>
<p>“Are you asking me to move in?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jason nods, feeling just a bit nervous.</p>
<p>Juice finishes swallowing his food. “Even if everything goes the way we want it to… I’m still going to be away for about a year and a half. That’s longer than we’ve been together.”</p>
<p>“Are you breaking up with me?” Jason asks but he doesn’t feel as surprised or angry as he maybe should.</p>
<p>“No! I mean… I’m just… I don’t want you to feel trapped, Jason. To… wait for me for over a year and then realize it was a waste.”</p>
<p>Jason puts his plate on the coffee table in front of them – a new addition. Then he does the same to Juice’s and grabs his face with both hands.</p>
<p>“It’s not a waste. It’s my choice. Juice, what we have… It’s special and I’m not giving it up for something as stupid as prison.”</p>
<p>Juice snorts, “most people don’t think prison is stupid.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, most people didn’t steal the tires to the Batmobile.”</p>
<p>“Are you serious?” Juice asks, getting derailed from the conversation.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, I was on the last tire before he caught me.”</p>
<p>“And then what?”</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, “forced me to put them back on.”</p>
<p>Juice laughs.</p>
<p>“So yeah,” Jason says, getting them back on track, “I don’t care about what other people find stupid or normal. There’s two people in this relationship and those are the only opinions who matter.”</p>
<p>Juice nods, raises his hands to Jason’s hands, still on his face, grabs them and pulls them down, though he doesn’t let go.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to break up with you, Jason. I do want to live with you. Of course I do. I just…” He shrugs, “I don’t know the future.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, neither do I. Look, I can’t promise you forever but right now, I know exactly what I want. And that’s you. And one, two, three years in prison isn’t going to change that. Who knows,” he shrugs, “you might come out more badass.”</p>
<p>Juice laughs, “you were Robin to the freaking Batman. I think you’re badass enough for the both of us.”</p>
<p>Jason shrugs, faking humility.</p>
<p>“The guys will have your back inside and I’ll be waiting outside, OK?” Jason says and Juice takes a few seconds just to study his face. Then he nods.</p>
<p>“I love you so fucking much.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Jason says and kisses him, deeply.</p>
<p>He has no idea what the hell the next year is going to look like, but he does know he’s facing it head on, and with Juice by his side, no matter the miles between them.</p>
<p> </p>
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